That Time I talked to Customer Service for Two Hours

Raise your hand if you have a Fitbit.

Now raise your hand if you’ve had one break.

Image result for hand raising memeI’ve been through THREE Fitbit watches. Every single one I’ve had has broken. I currently have the Charge 2 which I ordered from Amazon on November 11, 2016. I know this date off the top of my head now because I talked to the Fitbit Secret Agents for an hour and a half this morning and had to repeat it to them each. Four of them, to be exact.

But you know what, it wasn’t even their fault. Well, except for the fact that they’ve yet to figure out how to create a watch that DOESN’T FALL APART IN 9 MONTHS.

So FYI, in case you ever have a Fitbit or three to take a poop on you–they’re really good with replacing them if it’s within a year. Mine have NEVER made it a year.

But you need to know the email address associated with your watch. No big deal, right?

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Ok so let us rewind a moment.

I bought my first Fitbit a couple of years ago. I set up my account with my email address that I use for everything, downloaded the app, added my friends and all was good to go until it broke. Fortunately, they sent me a new one. I had to set up another account because it wouldn’t sync with my previous email address. So I used my “secret” email address that I ONLY use to communicate with people who will not send me junk (family, insurance agents, etc.). Repeated the process of adding new friends aaaaand watch number two broke. I gave up.

Then a few months later I decided to give it another go but this time I went with the Fitbit Charge 2 instead of the HR. Ya know, on November 11, 2016 from Amazon. And guess what…I couldn’t use either of the previous email addresses because it wouldn’t sync. I don’t know why. I was probably doing something wrong. Who knows. So I was like whatever I’ll just open up a new email account to use just for this watch and I’ll never use it again.

And I didn’t.

Then yesterday my watch fell apart.

Guess what Fitbit Secret Agents need to verify your account in order to help you out? The email address.

I seriously had ZERO clue what it could be.

Special Agent #1 {Harwin} alllllmost had me fixed up, without an email address. I exchanged screenshots of my Fitbit app, gave him all the information about when I purchased, and all other details he needed. Harwin was down to the very last step when we were disconnected (thirty minutes in to this chat). Obviously chat, because y’all already know I ain’t trying to be on the phone.

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I reconnect with Special Agent #2 {Nica} and she wasn’t near as friendly as my buddy Harwin. I was all like look girl. I need Harwin. He almost had me fixed up without providing an email address. I know it’s my fault that I don’t have it, but I don’t. And I’mma need this watch fixed asap because I have ten pounds to lose and I can’t do it if I don’t stay apart of those Workweek Hustles. Ya feel me? 

And she’s all like I’mma need that email address. fitbit4

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I “hung up” on that heifer.

And it was in that moment that I realized this is gonna make or break my day.

I’m not even joking y’all. My patience is like thislong and it gets allllll used up on kids crying over empty sippy cups and husbands who don’t put away their shoes. Also I’m about to start my period so ya feel me?

I recomposed myself. Looked for a “gmail” account on my computer. And by “looked” I had to tell them I forgot my address, they sent a code to my phone, gave me my address then I had to reset my password. Aaaaand reconnected to Fitbit Special Agent #3 {Prince}.

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Special Agent #3 {Prince} WHYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEE. So why do I even have this email address if it’s not for this Fitbit? I don’t understand. Like what in the actual hell is going on right now?!

By this point I’m not even mad. I mean I was kinda laughing at myself. And I could just picture Harwin, Nica and Prince sitting in their cubicle, wearing their headsets sipping on coffee, copying their lines out of a generic operator’s manual…trying to not reach through the screen and murder me with my overuse of emojis and my Mom Brain.

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Then a light bulb went off in my head and I remembered that you can get on Fitbit’s website and log in to your account. Why my boy Harwin, unhelpful Nica and Prince with the bad punctuation failed to tell me this, I do not know. Back to the computer I go and WHATTAYAKNOW. As soon as I go to log in the email address and password info is already saved and popped right up.

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Charlene for the win even if she did throw me one last curve ball. Even though she did absolutely nothing any more than the others did, after almost two hours of chatting with these Special Agents while simultaneously tending to five kids, I was legit ready to invite her over for a glass of wine and chat about life at 11 a.m. on a Thursday.

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