Stop Being a Mean Girl

In a conversation I had with a childhood friend, I made the statement Women by nature are women haters. 

All of us.

Me, you, and her.

Don’t even sit there all offended because every single one of you, myself included, has talked some major shhh on another woman. And have had some serious shhh talked on ourselves. We’ve been judge-y and felt judged.

From everything to appearance {which let’s be honest is possibly MOST of it}, parenting, domestic skills, personality, how many selfies are on our Insta, and on and on. And. On.

Men are not this hard on each other. They’re just not. I think it may be the ONE thing they’re better at than us. Aside from getting to poop for 45 minutes uninterrupted.

It starts somewhere around 4th grade {maybe earlier} and it never really goes away.

When I was in 5th grade there was a group of girls {the cool ones} that I just couldn’t get “in” with. In my day it was the teachers’ kids and the ones who were all pageant buddies who stuck together like glue. That was not me. I was not glued to anyone.

Well we had a program we were putting on towards the end of the school year and this particular group of girls {many of whom I’m great friends with now} were doing their own little dance number to Under the Sea…you know, The Little Mermaid song.

They practiced in a classroom during recess. Choreographed and full of laughs and inside jokes.

Y’all. I wanted to be apart of it so bad. Like I cannot explain to you how it hurt my little 10 year old heart that I wasn’t in this ridiculously fun dance they were putting together and getting costumes for. It was the end all be all for me. I told the music teacher I wanted to be apart of it but there was nothing she could do. So that was that. I don’t even remember the “reason” they gave me. They may have had a valid one, but all I heard was “you aren’t cool enough or pretty enough or fun enough.”Image result for bye felicia gif

Now before you get to feeling too sorry for me, just know that those roles eventually reversed.

I wouldn’t call myself a snob in high school but I bet there’s a whole slew of girls who would disagree.

This woman-hating mentality doesn’t disappear with age.

Guarantee them old ladies in the nursing home still mad at Ethel down the hallway because she wheeled by George too slowly in the hallway, trying to get his attention.

Mean Girls is a popular movie for a reason ladies.

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But let me just say this. I’ve come a LONG way in this Woman Hating Department and I think as a whole, many women have. I’m apart of two “mom groups” on Facebook, one of which I created {Mom & Stuff} and the other I’m not disclosing because out of 25K women, I know NO ONE there and I like it that way. I also created a women’s fitness group about a year and a half ago {SEMO Women’s Fitness}, which I’ve told you about multiple times. These groups have shown me that although, by nature, women hate women, we’re overcoming that one toddler tantrum in Target and jiggly thigh at a time. That’s one of the main reasons I created both of them. To unite us {corny, yes, but true}.

I like to see other women succeed.

I like to see other women find happiness and love.

I like to see other women reaching their goals, whether it be in their career, health or otherwise.

And I mean it.

There was a time when I was waaaay too insecure to be happy about a girl rocking abs or starting her own business or popping out a hundred kids and still looking like a rock-star or being the craftiest little homemaker Pinterest ever had or having the ability to whip up a gourmet dinner or have the tidiest house I’ve ever seen. There was a time.

It comes from a place of insecurities. I think we’re all aware of that right? That wasn’t some breakthrough science I just threw at ya.

So stop worrying about what she’s doing or why you’re not doing it as good as her.

Stop giving her the stink eye because she worked harder or it seems to come easier for her.

Stop bashing a woman you don’t even know.

Stop worrying why she feeds her kids only organic food or only macaroni and cheese.

Stop comparing yourself to her.

Stop thinking she’s better than you.

Stop thinking you’re better than her.

Let her do her.

And you do you.

I speak this from experience. I’m on the other side. And looking at a woman you just met like she could potentially be a really good friend is so much more satisfying than looking at her like some imaginary competition that you trumped up in your head.

There was a time I said, “I only have guy friends because girls are so much drama.” Which can be true. But you’re a girl, too. Remember that.

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Be the kind of friend you want to have.

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3 comments

  1. Girlll I used to have SUCH a problem comparing myself to everyone else. “Her hair is prettier, she’s more fit than me.. blah blah blah I suck” Now that I’m older I’m like whatever, I’m awesome! (even though I still am trying to lose weight for my own benefit) ha!
    It’s like a switch that flips or something and you just figure out it’s not worth it to live your life thinking less of yourself because you’re just as awesome as the next person.

    Like

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