10 Things I wish I Knew Before my First Baby

  1. Not all babies or toddlers sleep through the night and there’s literally no reason. Not one good reason. They’re not hungry. They didn’t sleep too much during they day. Their belly doesn’t hurt. They aren’t spoiled {well that’s still up for debate}. The didn’t poop. Trying {and failing} all the advice thrown your way doesn’t mean your kid has some underlying issue or that you’re doing it wrong. Some kids sleep, some don’t. Eventually they’ll sleep through the night and you’ll still be awake because you had three babies and can’t make it eight hours without peeing.
  2. It’s okay if you don’t want to “sleep when your baby sleeps”. It seems like everyone told me to do this before I had Bella. And I get it, I probably should have made more time to catch a few Z’s. It’s solid advice. But picking up around the house, washing bottles, doing laundry, cleaning the toilet also needed to be done. I couldn’t relax for a nap with my house turned upside down {not judging if you can} so I spent much of that quiet time doing the things that would keep me sane. That didn’t always mean catching a nap. Sometimes it meant catching up on The Bachelor and sometimes it meant hanging up my husband’s shirts that were stacked on top of my dryer for two weeks. 
  3. You don’t have to open up your home for every single visitor to pop in after you’ve given birth. One of the most stressful few days of my life were the days of never-ending company when we came home from the hospital after I had Bella. I was so appreciative of how loved we were by so many but it was hard. She was the first baby for us. And she was the first baby born into both of our families for a few years. Plus my husband has like 700 close friends so there were many people ready to get their hands on my baby. I was bleeding like a stuck pig, couldn’t sit down or stand for longer than 5 seconds because my insides were on my outside, I was feverish with my milk coming in, my boobs were the size of watermelons {like for real, not exaggerating}, I was in pain, my hormones had me feeling like an insane person, my anxiety was through the roof, I needed a shower, and I was sleep deprived from taking care of a newborn and being in pain. Having visitors back to back to back for days in a row was way too much for me. I learned my lesson after baby #1 and with baby #2 had strict instructions for my husband and the grandmas to make it clear I only wanted our immediate family to stop in for visits those first few days. Do yourself a favor and post this on your front door.Image result for no visitors
  4. Don’t stock up on pacifiers. A lot of money was wasted on pacifiers for Bella because she hated them all. When she was born I had an entire drawer full of nothing but pacifiers and none of them were used. Get a couple in case your baby loves it, but don’t buy a zillion right off the bat. Once that little bundle of sleepless nights arrives, start going through that fun process of finding what style they like {if they like any of them}. Only one of my babies would take one and I took it away from her once she was sitting up because a) I knew it would be easier at seven months than waiting until she was older and b) she kept leaving them in the floor for the cat to chew on.
  5. Avent bottles are the best and don’t fight me on this. . I’ve had them all and no one will ever convince me otherwise. Dr. Browns–hate em. Too many pieces, no thanks. Also, the openings are so tiny and if you formula feed, you get powder everywhere trying to dump the powder into the bottle. The cheap ones tend to leak. The ones with the bags I do like. BUT, I don’t like having to keep stock in those bags so I didn’t last with those. However, major plus is no bottle washing. Not plus enough for me to veer from Avent though. Easy and comfortable to hold {for you and baby}. They don’t leak. Just take my word for it and buy Avent. 
  6. Speaking of bottles, don’t waste money on 4 ounce bottles. It won’t be long and your baby will be drinking 6 ounce of milk {or more if you’re Vance} and all those 4 ounce bottles will go to waste. Stock up on the 6-9 ounce bottles because guess what? 4 ounces of formula or breast milk is the same in a 6 ounce bottle as it is a 4 ounce bottle. Money saver over here.
  7. You’ll need more newborn clothes than you think {or than you’re advised}. Many people informed me “you’ll just need a couple of newborn outfits because they’ll outgrow them so fast!” Wrong {for me}. All of my babies were born tiny and stayed in size newborn for at least a month and a half. Babies go through a lot of clothes so unless you have an abundance of time for laundry {you don’t}, stock up on enough sleepers and comfy onesies to get you through.
  8. She’s not going to wear those shoes. I don’t care how cute they are, nope, not wearing them. The main reason: I’ve yet to meet a shoe for babies that fits how it should. They are so wide and slide off so easily. And once your baby is big enough to reach them, they’re pulling them off. Then throwing them at the back of your head while you drive. Until they’re ready to walk, no shoes in this house. I bought cute booty type socks for all those adorable outfits. Save your money on those newborn size boutique shoes {or don’t and I’ll say I told ya so}. Bonus: probably not wearing the coat either unless you’ll be sitting outside for an extended period of time. Get big blankets.
  9. Sometimes the “right” way just isn’t going to work. When you’re in desperate need of sleep, do what you have to do. If that means co-sleeping, do it. If that means white noise machine, do it. If that means giving them a bottle to soothe themselves to sleep, do it. If that means letting them sleep on their tummy, do it. If that means gas drops before bed, do it. If that means rice in the bottle at bed time, do it. If that means rocking them to sleep, do it. Okay, so I understand that a million and one people will argue with all of this in the name of self soothing and SIDS and baby independence and nutrition and on and on. I understand that and honestly, I agree. That’s why I say I wish someone would’ve told me “it’s okay” because it’s all things I resorted to and felt guilty. I’ve had three babies and all three babies had different needs. I felt like so many things I did to get my babies to sleep was wrong or unsafe because they weren’t recommended. But I was desperate. It’s one of those things you just don’t understand until you’re several nights in on zero sleep. Basically we’re told “by the time your baby is two months old he should be able to fall asleep on his own in his crib on his back with no blanket and no noise and no stimulation and don’t you dare look at him and if he isn’t sleeping a solid twelve hours that’s really weird.” Okay that’s a bit of an exaggeration. All I’m saying is, I was anti belly sleeping with both girls. Then I had Vance. Who, from DAY ONE, would not in any way, shape or form sleep on his back. Wasn’t happening. I fought it for weeks until I just couldn’t take it any more. I gave in and I felt so guilty because I was doing it “wrong” and I knew the dangers. I was scared but desperate for him to sleep. No, it’s not the safest way. But you know what else isn’t safe? A mom of three with a daycare full of kids who slept a total of three hours in five days. 
  10. Don’t stock up on clothes five years in advance. This probably won’t apply to everyone because financially, it is super helpful. I just don’t do clutter. It overwhelms me majorly. But when Bella was a baby I’d take every item of clothing sent to me. Which is fantastic and I was appreciative. But it was also overwhelming accepting everything offered. I’ve learned that when that happens, go through the clothes immediately and donate what I know I will never use. I ended up with boxes upon boxes of clothes Bella didn’t need. Sizes that wouldn’t work. Clothes that when she got older weren’t the type she even liked. And more clothes than she couldn’t possibly ever wear. Now, I’ll buy or accept clothes a year or so out, but other than that, I decline. It’s greatly decreased my clothing clutter and saved a lot of time when it comes to time to switch out closets for the season. Image result for laundry mountain
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2 comments

  1. thenewagedad says:

    Loved it. Agree with everything. My daughter is 7 months old and she is already behaving like a year old. There is no pattern or habit that she has created. She is as unpredictable as unpredictability can be.

    Like

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